Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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