I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
