i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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