They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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