if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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