So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize