I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
