Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Floor bacon is actually really good
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
