She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
pop tarts are not kleenex
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
