How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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