Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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