Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
