Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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