Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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