yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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