the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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