I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
