Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
