i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize