Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
and she was petting her beer can
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
