so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
