hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
