She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
