He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
