Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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