Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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