just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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