Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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