I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
