Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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