i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
