Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
