He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
