We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize