you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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