But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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