Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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