hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
