Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Fuck appropriateness.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
