That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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