Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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