so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
