ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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