That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
