he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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