You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
she peed on how many people?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
