I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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