OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
