if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
