Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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