South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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