so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize