Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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