i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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