dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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