it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
