Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
