There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
not ubering you a puppy
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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