I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
