every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
